Zesty Cross Stitch Pattern – Fun and Mysterious

This suggestive Zesty cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!zesty cross stitch pattern dark vast and zestyDark, Vast, and Zesty may sound somewhat like a double entendre, but it has a much more innocent origin. A family member got himself into an enormous financial mess that peaked when he had a life-threatening illness, and it took many of his friends and family to help dig him out of trouble (physically and financially). One person was entrusted to make an honest and extensive list of every debt and issue outstanding. When this person emailed the list to the others helping, he prefaced it by saying the list was “…dark, vast, and zesty,” which cracked me up!

Of course, “dark, vast, and zesty” could refer to a number of different situations, some more virtuous than others. I think it could add a fun air of mystery to greet your guests, with them thinking “just what the heck does that mean?” It remains a really funny line and a great reminder to find the humor in less than ideal circumstances whenever possible. [By the way, the family member is recovered and doing much better now.]

dmc coloris 24 new variegated flossesThe variegated floss used in this Zesty cross stitch pattern is the gorgeous and rich DMC Coloris 4507 Bougainvillea, available in my shop along with the entire range of DMC and Anchor variegated flosses (DMC’s newest colors, the Coloris collection, are shown at right). I also offer a selection of beautiful ThreadworX variegated flosses as well.

Variegated flosses are beautiful and by their very nature, they make every piece that uses them unique. No two people will ever use the exact same length of a floss in the same way, thus every project will have a different result! This makes creating with them an exercise in curiosity and a fun adventure. See the my series of Variegated Floss Projects to see a wide variety of projects that would look great in these color combinations!

Think for Yourself and Question Authority Cross Stitch Pattern

My Think for Yourself and Question Authority cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!think for yourself and question authority cross stitch pattern

The inspiration for the pattern comes from a famous quote from Dr. Timothy Leary. He was a psychiatrist who advocated the use of LSD for therapeutic uses, and he was a counter culture icon from the 1960’s until his death in 1996. In fact, Richard Nixon considered Leary one of the most dangerous men in America. In the 60’s he popularized the phrases “turn on, tune in, drop out” and “think for yourself and question authority”.

The pattern features a mirrored pair of fun 1960’s pop art style flowers that I intended to bring a little color and flair in juxtaposition to the more serious nature of the quote. Pop art started in the 1950’s, bloomed in the 1960’s, and the style of these flowers could easily be seen in the works of artists such as Peter Max and the animation team behind the Beatles‘ movie Yellow Submarine.

Of course, I don’t advocate that we all drop acid and form our own psychedelic religions while skipping in and out of jail. However, the idea that we read, research, and think for ourselves and question all kinds of authority (political, religious, economic, et al.) is certainly valid. And if the political culture of 2016 is any indication, it appears that a little 1960’s-style peaceful counterculture would be a welcome change.

Let this think for yourself and question authority cross stitch pattern be a good reminder to have some healthy skepticism of authority.

MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch pattern

The inspiration comes from the the classic Episode 321 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The lyrics are from Crow’s song “A Patrick Swayze Christmas,” performed by Joel and the ‘bots during one of the host segments. It was inspired by Crow’s favorite movie, Road House, starring Patrick Swayze. With it’s references to barstools, action sequences, and Santa drafting his will, it’s a modern holiday tradition!

In 2013 Reddit and Joel worked with acapella group The Lost Keys to create this version of the song:

Joel’s reaction at end of the video is a funny reference to another outstanding MST3K episode, Pod People.

mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch patternThe cross stitch captures their usual silhouettes, plus with Crow’s red nose, Joel’s ivory scarf, and Tom’s blue and white snow globe noggin from the sketch. It also has the draped gold garland and the Christmas tree from the set, and I added a colorful string of lights around the border. This project was a lot of fun to put together!

 

I know that for many MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000), including myself, the holiday season is not quite complete without a viewing of this hilarious episode.

mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch patternI have two other MST3K themed patterns available. One is the “Turn down your lights…” pattern you see at right. This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. It’s a welcome and happy sight to the fans of the show.

 

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThe other pattern is this “The answer my friend, is blow it…” which is a funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.

 

 

 

 

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies past, present, and future.

Keep circulating the tapes!

MST3K Turn Down Your Lights Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Turn down your lights cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch pattern

This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. This span includes three of my personal favorite episodes: Cave Dwellers, Pod People, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. “Turn down your lights (Where applicable)” is a welcome and happy sight to fans of the show.

If you’re not familiar with Mystery Science Theater 3000, it is a classic comedy show that originally ran from 1988 to 1999. It cleverly skewered terrible movies with it’s characters making funny comments during the movies and performing sketches during the intermissions.

It won a Peabody Award in 1993 and was nominated for several Emmy Awards. To this day it remains popular and maintains a large cult-like following. It is so popular, in fact, a MST3K revival recently became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. The casting for the new episodes includes Jonah Ray as the host, with Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day as the new “mads.” I just can’t wait to see how the series continues!

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThis is my second MST3K themed project, the first being this funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.  It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

This MST3K Turn Down Your Lights cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) present, past, and future (and for everyone who has a lot of dimmer switches).

Keep circulating the tapes!

Willy Wonka Cross Stitch Pattern

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to do

This pattern features one of the famous quotes from Gene Wilder’s character in the 1971 version of the movie. As the visitors to the factory have just walked in the door and are removing their coats, Willy says: “So much time and so little to see. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”

Only after I stitched the photographed example did I realize that I got the quote slightly incorrect! In my mind and on IMDB.com the line is “…so little to do,” whereas the line in the movie is clearly “…so little to see.” Nevertheless, this project will appeal to fans of the movie and to busy people everywhere (and who of us isn’t busy?).

photo of gene wilder as willy wonkaThe border of this pattern is a homage to the floral fabric in Willy Wonka’s waistcoat. With it’s purple, pink and white flowers on a background of black and light purple, it’s an enduing part of Willy’s ensemble.

 

 

 

 

 

On Spoonflower, there are two separate versions of this fabric, as well as two different “Golden Ticket” fabrics, a reproduction of the “lickable wallpaper” fruit pattern, and a rather unusual fabric of Willy with the Oompa Loompas.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, it’s based on the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. At it’s release in 1971 it received good reviews and fared decently at the box office. Since its release for television and home video, it has become a cult classic with quite a few devoted fans.

Dahl didn’t like this version of the movie, saying it strayed too far from his original book. One can understand his concerns, considering the change of emphasis from Charlie to Willy, the introduction of Slugworth as an enemy, and the inclusion of seemingly random literary quotes from various authors. I’ve also heard that the lyrics of the Oompa Loompa’s songs were completely different than what they sang in this this first version.

willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to doDahl’s family was much happier with the Tim Burton-directed version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring Johnny Depp from 2005. Although they are much different movies, I happen to like them both. Ah, but when it comes to quotable lines, the 1971 version certainly takes the (chocolate) cake.

 

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is perfect for all fans of the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and for all of us with hectic schedules.

Statistics Cross Stitch Pattern

This statistics cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!statistics cross stitch pattern - statistically speaking most people are assholes

The quote for this statistics cross stitch pattern comes from an episode of The Nightly Show on Comedy Central. During one of their #Keepit100 segments, host Larry Wilmore asked the panel (and I’m paraphrasing) if your dog and a stranger were drowning, who would you save, the person or your dog? Rory Albanese replied “If it’s an adult, I save my dog every time because statistically speaking, most people are assholes.” Here’s the clip (you can skip ahead to 1:34):

Keep in mind, I don’t subscribe to this theory most of the time… but there are those moments. As soon as I heard this quote, I scribbled it down and knew I would stitch it someday.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, The Nightly Show is hosted by Larry Wilmore, who did frequent segments on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The show debuted in January 2015 and can be seen just after The Daily Show. Although the show might have started off a little awkwardly, I think Larry and his staff have really hit their stride in recent months. The show packs a lot of laughs, fresh, diverse viewpoints, and some great [bleeped-out] cursing. That Larry is a self-described “blerd” (black nerd) appeals to me as well.

statistics cross stitch pattern - statistically speaking most people are assholesThis pattern is packed with mathematical and statistical symbols for various constants and functions. The first “t” is tau, which is a symbol used to represent Kendall’s rank correlation coefficient. The first “a” is alpha, which represents the level of significance, also know as the type I error rate. The second “t” is an addition (plus) sign.

The “S” in “speaking” is an integral sign from calculus, the “E” is a capital sigma that represents a sum, and the symbol for “n” represents an intersection. The “y” and the “G” are both related to Goodman and Kruskal’s gamma. The border pattern is comprised of lower case sigmas which represent the all-important statistic of standard deviation.

It was necessary to take a few liberties with subscripts that complete the pattern and add a little visual interest – but the t sub i very easily could represent interior temperature in engineering applications.

This statistics cross stitch project is perfect for statisticians, scientists, mathematicians, engineers, and smart people. It’s also great for curmudgeons and your favorite anti-social grumps!

MST3K Cross Stitch Pattern “Blow it…”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your ass

 

The project is a funny quote from Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 614 – San Francisco International. It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

Most of the plot revolves around an elaborate attempt to steal a large shipment of currency that looks surprisingly similar to boxes of Rush albums. One subplot involves a young boy, Davey, who manages to steal a small airplane and get airborne with no flying experience whatsoever. “You know, people are gonna hate you for quite a while after this, Davey.”

While the Urkel-themed host segments haven’t aged well (in fact, you will probably want to skip them altogether), the quote “The answer, my friend, is blow it out your ass” is a classic riff! You can see the entire episode on YouTube…

I used two DMC Variegated Flosses in this project: 4220 Lavender Fields in the lettering, and 4020 Tropical Waters as part of the border. I generally use brighter colors in my projects, but I wanted to make this look a little softer, a little breezy, a little like the Joan Baez version of “Blowing in the Wind.”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) and for everyone who appreciates a funny and rude cross stitch project.

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

Keep circulating the tapes!

Compass Needlepoint Update 3

Once again I’m happy to share more progress on my compass needlepoint project!

compass needlepoint update 2In the last update, I had finished all of the radiating tiles and was ready to start filling in the background and the borders.

 

 

 

Here’s my latest photo – she’s looking gorgeous!compass needlepoint update 3

All of the border tiles are outlined, and I’ve started filling them in as well as the background. The four corners will be the same double stitch as the center circle and the four primary direction tiles. All of the other border blocks will have a different needlepoint stitch.

Compass Needlepoint Project WIP #6aHere you can see a bit more detail of the individual stitches. At the top, I’ve used Cashmere stitch worked diagonally. Next one down on the left is the Parisian stitch, and the Fern stitch below that.

I’m using the Hungarian stitch with ivory thread in the background of the center. It’s lovely, but it is really challenging to keep the pattern flowing in the tight areas between the blocks of color!

Compass Needlepoint Project WIP #6bFrom the top of this photo you can see the Brick Cashmere stitch, the Oblique Slav stitch and the Byzantine stitch. I had to add an extra element to the Oblique Slav section as the stitch with the thread I’m using didn’t cover the canvas quite enough. It still looks great, though!

 

 

 

 

I’m still very happy that I have slightly blended the colors, mixing 5 strands of the main colors with one strand of contrasting colors. I did this to better represent the speckled color and texture of the original tiles and to add a little visual interest. This looks good in the radiating tiles, but I think it looks even better in these border blocks.

The next step is to just keep filling in the background and occasionally take a break to have some fun filling in the border blocks with interesting stitches. I would LOVE to have her done by the end of this year (2015) as I have some other very cool needlepoint projects ready to stitch. However, this one has to get finished first!

The previous updates (Update 1 and Update 2) have info on the inspiration for this pattern – a patio tile pattern at the beautiful Cuq en Terrasses hotel near Toulouse, France. Take a look!

Airplane Movie Cross Stitch Pattern

This Airplane (the movie) cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!airplane movie cross stitch project

The quote is from Leslie Nielsen’s character, Dr. Rumack. He repeats the phrase “I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you” before, during and after the plane lands. You can see them in the video below:

I tried my hardest to make faithful recreation of the TransAmerican airplane (at a reasonable size) and I have to say I’m pleased with the result! If you count carefully, there are a few more windows than the original, but the pattern of dark vs. light windows is pretty accurate. I was happy that I was able to recreate the “TA” logo on the tail fairly well.airplane movie cross stitch project transamerican plane photo

The pattern can be modified for any of your favorite funny lines from Airplane! Other quotes I considered include “I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley,” “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” “Why, I could make a hat or a brooch or a Pterodactyl,” and “You ever seen a grown man naked?” There are so many possibilities that would work well!

Airplane! is one of the funniest movies of all time. It’s so crammed full of gags that nearly every time you see it, you’ll discover something new to make you giggle. One great example is that it took me at least a decade to realize that during the exterior shots of the plane, instead of jet engine sounds, you hear propeller sounds. The A.V. Club posted a brilliant article – an oral history of Airplane! – on it’s 35th anniversary in 2015 that includes great information about the movie. For example, did you know that Barry Manilow and David Letterman were considered for the role of Ted Striker?

According to Wikipedia “In the years since its release, Airplane!’s reputation has grown substantially. The film was ranked sixth on Bravo’s 100 Funniest Movies. In a 2007 survey by Channel 4 in the United Kingdom, it was judged the second greatest comedy film of all time, after Monty Python’s Life of Brian” and “In 2010 it was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress.”

This Airplane movie cross stitch pattern would perfect for all fans of the film, so go check it out… and stop calling me Shirley.

Men in Blazers Cross Stitch Pattern

This Men in Blazers cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!men in blazers cross stitch pattern crap goals make my pants tingle

If you follow English football and have a sense of humor, make sure you catch the Men in Blazers. On a tight budget and a miniscule staff, Michael Davies and Roger Bennett create very funny podcasts, TV shows, Twitter and Instagram feeds, and they are even hosting their first “BlazerCon” in October 2015.

I have to credit my Dad with discovering the TV show that airs Monday nights on NBC Sports Network. I’m not sure how he found it, but as my husband closely follows British football, we are SO glad he did. Rog and Davo are smart, funny, and quick. The show is full of bizarre metaphors and obscure references – I’d say it’s like an English Premier League version of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

There’s a lot of “crap” in the Men in Blazers – as in “crap goals,” and their studio is in the “crap part of Soho.” There’s also a lot of “tingling,” usually in Rog’s pants or pectoral areas. Frequent references to Arsenal player Olivier Giroud’s “meaty french forehead,” Man City’s goalkeeper Joe Hart’s appearance (especially when he had the moustache), whatever nuttiness Louis van Gaal was up to in the last week, and keeping an eye on the crazy fans in the stands are some of their features.

The Men in Blazers have also tackled American football – this video is some of their highlights:

I actually had a tough time deciding what saying to use for this project as there are so many possibilities! I originally thought of a couple of their sartorial hashtags: #MovetoTweed and #LeantoLinen. Next I considered the name of their loyal followers: GFOP’s aka Great Friends of the Podcast. But then I decided some crap and some tingling needed to get involved and so I created this Men in Blazers cross stitch pattern, perfect for your favorite GFOP’s!