MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch pattern

The inspiration comes from the the classic Episode 321 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The lyrics are from Crow’s song “A Patrick Swayze Christmas,” performed by Joel and the ‘bots during one of the host segments. It was inspired by Crow’s favorite movie, Road House, starring Patrick Swayze. With it’s references to barstools, action sequences, and Santa drafting his will, it’s a modern holiday tradition!

In 2013 Reddit and Joel worked with acapella group The Lost Keys to create this version of the song:

Joel’s reaction at end of the video is a funny reference to another outstanding MST3K episode, Pod People.

mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch patternThe cross stitch captures their usual silhouettes, plus with Crow’s red nose, Joel’s ivory scarf, and Tom’s blue and white snow globe noggin from the sketch. It also has the draped gold garland and the Christmas tree from the set, and I added a colorful string of lights around the border. This project was a lot of fun to put together!

 

I know that for many MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000), including myself, the holiday season is not quite complete without a viewing of this hilarious episode.

mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch patternI have two other MST3K themed patterns available. One is the “Turn down your lights…” pattern you see at right. This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. It’s a welcome and happy sight to the fans of the show.

 

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThe other pattern is this “The answer my friend, is blow it…” which is a funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.

 

 

 

 

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies past, present, and future.

Keep circulating the tapes!

MST3K Turn Down Your Lights Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Turn down your lights cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch pattern

This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. This span includes three of my personal favorite episodes: Cave Dwellers, Pod People, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. “Turn down your lights (Where applicable)” is a welcome and happy sight to fans of the show.

If you’re not familiar with Mystery Science Theater 3000, it is a classic comedy show that originally ran from 1988 to 1999. It cleverly skewered terrible movies with it’s characters making funny comments during the movies and performing sketches during the intermissions.

It won a Peabody Award in 1993 and was nominated for several Emmy Awards. To this day it remains popular and maintains a large cult-like following. It is so popular, in fact, a MST3K revival recently became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. The casting for the new episodes includes Jonah Ray as the host, with Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day as the new “mads.” I just can’t wait to see how the series continues!

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThis is my second MST3K themed project, the first being this funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.  It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

This MST3K Turn Down Your Lights cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) present, past, and future (and for everyone who has a lot of dimmer switches).

Keep circulating the tapes!

Willy Wonka Cross Stitch Pattern

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to do

This pattern features one of the famous quotes from Gene Wilder’s character in the 1971 version of the movie. As the visitors to the factory have just walked in the door and are removing their coats, Willy says: “So much time and so little to see. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”

Only after I stitched the photographed example did I realize that I got the quote slightly incorrect! In my mind and on IMDB.com the line is “…so little to do,” whereas the line in the movie is clearly “…so little to see.” Nevertheless, this project will appeal to fans of the movie and to busy people everywhere (and who of us isn’t busy?).

photo of gene wilder as willy wonkaThe border of this pattern is a homage to the floral fabric in Willy Wonka’s waistcoat. With it’s purple, pink and white flowers on a background of black and light purple, it’s an enduing part of Willy’s ensemble.

 

 

 

 

 

On Spoonflower, there are two separate versions of this fabric, as well as two different “Golden Ticket” fabrics, a reproduction of the “lickable wallpaper” fruit pattern, and a rather unusual fabric of Willy with the Oompa Loompas.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, it’s based on the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. At it’s release in 1971 it received good reviews and fared decently at the box office. Since its release for television and home video, it has become a cult classic with quite a few devoted fans.

Dahl didn’t like this version of the movie, saying it strayed too far from his original book. One can understand his concerns, considering the change of emphasis from Charlie to Willy, the introduction of Slugworth as an enemy, and the inclusion of seemingly random literary quotes from various authors. I’ve also heard that the lyrics of the Oompa Loompa’s songs were completely different than what they sang in this this first version.

willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to doDahl’s family was much happier with the Tim Burton-directed version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring Johnny Depp from 2005. Although they are much different movies, I happen to like them both. Ah, but when it comes to quotable lines, the 1971 version certainly takes the (chocolate) cake.

 

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is perfect for all fans of the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and for all of us with hectic schedules.

MST3K Cross Stitch Pattern “Blow it…”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your ass

 

The project is a funny quote from Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 614 – San Francisco International. It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

Most of the plot revolves around an elaborate attempt to steal a large shipment of currency that looks surprisingly similar to boxes of Rush albums. One subplot involves a young boy, Davey, who manages to steal a small airplane and get airborne with no flying experience whatsoever. “You know, people are gonna hate you for quite a while after this, Davey.”

While the Urkel-themed host segments haven’t aged well (in fact, you will probably want to skip them altogether), the quote “The answer, my friend, is blow it out your ass” is a classic riff! You can see the entire episode on YouTube…

I used two DMC Variegated Flosses in this project: 4220 Lavender Fields in the lettering, and 4020 Tropical Waters as part of the border. I generally use brighter colors in my projects, but I wanted to make this look a little softer, a little breezy, a little like the Joan Baez version of “Blowing in the Wind.”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) and for everyone who appreciates a funny and rude cross stitch project.

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

Keep circulating the tapes!

Airplane Movie Cross Stitch Pattern

This Airplane (the movie) cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!airplane movie cross stitch project

The quote is from Leslie Nielsen’s character, Dr. Rumack. He repeats the phrase “I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you” before, during and after the plane lands. You can see them in the video below:

I tried my hardest to make faithful recreation of the TransAmerican airplane (at a reasonable size) and I have to say I’m pleased with the result! If you count carefully, there are a few more windows than the original, but the pattern of dark vs. light windows is pretty accurate. I was happy that I was able to recreate the “TA” logo on the tail fairly well.airplane movie cross stitch project transamerican plane photo

The pattern can be modified for any of your favorite funny lines from Airplane! Other quotes I considered include “I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley,” “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” “Why, I could make a hat or a brooch or a Pterodactyl,” and “You ever seen a grown man naked?” There are so many possibilities that would work well!

Airplane! is one of the funniest movies of all time. It’s so crammed full of gags that nearly every time you see it, you’ll discover something new to make you giggle. One great example is that it took me at least a decade to realize that during the exterior shots of the plane, instead of jet engine sounds, you hear propeller sounds. The A.V. Club posted a brilliant article – an oral history of Airplane! – on it’s 35th anniversary in 2015 that includes great information about the movie. For example, did you know that Barry Manilow and David Letterman were considered for the role of Ted Striker?

According to Wikipedia “In the years since its release, Airplane!’s reputation has grown substantially. The film was ranked sixth on Bravo’s 100 Funniest Movies. In a 2007 survey by Channel 4 in the United Kingdom, it was judged the second greatest comedy film of all time, after Monty Python’s Life of Brian” and “In 2010 it was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress.”

This Airplane movie cross stitch pattern would perfect for all fans of the film, so go check it out… and stop calling me Shirley.

Blues Brothers Cross Stitch Pattern – If the Shit Fits…

This Blues Brothers cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!blues brothers cross stitch pattern if the shit fits wear it

This project is a quote uttered by no other than Donald “Duck” Dunn, base player for the band. He says this line after they had played at Bob’s Country Bunker, a rowdy country and western bar.

This is a funny (and rude) take on the old saying “If the shoe fits, wear it,” which is quite an old idiom in itself.

From this and his other lines in the movie, it’s plain to see that Donald Dunn was no actor, but he was a great musician. In 1992 he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Booker T and the MG’s, and his musical accomplishments, including recording sessions with Stax Records and extensive touring and performing with everyone from Muddy Waters to Eddie Vedder, are the stuff of legend.

I was lucky enough to see him in person when he was touring with Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young in the mid-2000’s. I had no idea he was with the band until he appeared on stage. I may have been more excited to be in the same room with a member of the Blues Brothers band than with CSNY!

I stitched the green lettering in DMC 4047, one of their gorgeous variegated flosses. This project is small so it stitches up quickly, and it’s perfect for beginners and more experienced stitchers alike.

blues brothers cross stitch pattern shit. what. rollers. no. yeah. shitThe Blues Brothers is about as good a comedy movie as you will ever see, thanks in part to lots of quotes like this. This is my second Blues Brothers cross stitch pattern, the first being this “rollers” project. I’m pretty confident that I will create even more projects honoring this outstanding movie in the future as well.

Blues Brothers Cross Stitch Pattern “Rollers”

This Blues Brothers cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!blues brothers cross stitch pattern shit. what. rollers. no. yeah. shit

The quote comes from the 1980 movie “The Blues Brothers” starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd. The movie is a classic that has achieved cult status, and for good reason. First off, it has a great plot and it’s hilarious. Also, the movie has performances by some of the best blues artists who ever existed: Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Cab Calloway, John Lee Hooker, and Ray Charles among others. On top of the music, there are tons of cameos – from Twiggy and Frank Oz to Steven Spielberg, Paul Reubens, and John Candy.

Other than Belushi and Aykroyd, the Blues Brothers band were musicians, not actors (which is pretty obvious by their speaking parts) and their resumes are impressive. Check out these articles about just three of the musicians: Donald “Duck” Dunn, Steve Cropper, and Tom Malone. Dan Aykroyd plays a mean harmonica in the movie and in real life.

This Blues Brothers Cross Stitch pattern comes from the scene just before they demolish the mall. Elwood runs a red light, the police pursue with lights flashing. Elwood sees them in the rear view mirror, and starts the conversation. Although it’s brief, it’s a brilliant little exchange between the brothers, and it’s a favorite sequence of mine in a movie full of great lines.

The colors in the border of my pattern are a small nod to the red stars and light blue stripes of the Chicago city flag. Director John Landis said the movie was “conceived as a love letter to the city” and it’s true.

If you haven’t seen “The Blues Brothers” before, I can’t encourage you enough.

[Update May 2015: I’ve added a second Blues Brothers project to my pattern list – take a look!]

Life Sucks Cross Stitch Pattern “…so why not be a schmuck?”

This Life Sucks cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!life sucks cross stitch pattern life sucks so why not be a schmuck?

This quote comes from Chevy Chase movie “Modern Problems.” The antagonist, played by none other than Dabney Coleman, has an incredibly abrasive personality. At one point in the movie he says “You gotta understand something. Life sucks, so why not be a schmuck?” He uttered the line in a slightly southern drawl, which makes it just that much richer.

Dabney Coleman probably is best known for playing jerks. Among other roles, he was the evil boss in “9 to 5,” the womanizing soap opera director in “Tootsie,” and a government spy director opposite Tom Hanks in “The Man with One Red Shoe.” In Modern Problems, he plays Mark Winslow, a Dr. Phil type therapist who calls everyone “a manipulatin’ son-of-a-bitch.” Here’s a clip of him in character:

According to IMDB, Dabney has said that “I’ve played good guys and nice guys, but the truth is I’d rather be nasty than nice. The bad guys are always better written and more fun to play.”

Modern Problems may not be the most popular of all of Chevy Chase’s movies, but it surely has some funny moments thanks to a talented cast that included Patti D’Arbanville, Mary Kay Place, Nell Carter, and Brian Doyle-Murray.

I personally don’t subscribe to the idea of being a schmuck (at least not on purpose). In fact, my Life Sucketh Not pattern released earlier in 2014 more accurately reflects my philosophy. However, there are those curmudgeons out there – tactless, sometimes rude, and they really don’t care if they offend someone. This project is for them!

This Life Sucks cross stitch pattern stitches up quickly and is good for beginners and experienced stitchers alike! As a fun touch, I used DMC Variegated Floss 4210 (Radiant Ruby) for the lettering and in the flowers and it turned out prettier than I had imagined.

Spinal Tap Cross Stitch

This Spinal Tap cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!spinal tap cross stitch you can't really dust for vomit pattern

This pattern is perfect for anyone who appreciates this hilarious movie that has turned into a cult classic. And if you’ll note, the border pattern is of little Stonehenge stones “in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.” Even if you haven’t seen the movie, I guarantee that you know some of the lines.

This particular quote comes from a scene where they explain how Stumpy Joe, one of their innumerable previous drummers, died. You can see it in this clip:

“This is Spinal Tap” is so near reality that, according to IMDB, “guitarist The Edge said about this movie, ‘I didn’t laugh, I wept. It was so close to the truth.'”

11 Real-Life Stories Behind Spinal Tap Movie Moments and 20 Most Insane Real Life Spinal Tap Moments give you a good idea of the truth The Edge spoke about. From Nigel’s fit over the size of the catered bread to the band getting lost on it’s way to the stage, and from Derek being trapped in the pod to David’s meddling astrological girlfriend, all bands big and small have seen similar scenes unfold.

There is a sweet side to the story of the movie. Jamie Lee Curtis saw a photo of writer and actor Christopher Guest (Nigel) in Rolling Stone Magazine around the time that Spinal Tap was released. Without ever meeting him before, she said “I’m going to marry that man.” Within the year, she did, and they’ve been married ever since.

This Spinal Tap cross stitch project stitches up quickly and is suitable for both beginners and experienced cross stitchers alike. It was fun to create this project!