Zesty Cross Stitch Pattern – Fun and Mysterious

This suggestive Zesty cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!zesty cross stitch pattern dark vast and zestyDark, Vast, and Zesty may sound somewhat like a double entendre, but it has a much more innocent origin. A family member got himself into an enormous financial mess that peaked when he had a life-threatening illness, and it took many of his friends and family to help dig him out of trouble (physically and financially). One person was entrusted to make an honest and extensive list of every debt and issue outstanding. When this person emailed the list to the others helping, he prefaced it by saying the list was “…dark, vast, and zesty,” which cracked me up!

Of course, “dark, vast, and zesty” could refer to a number of different situations, some more virtuous than others. I think it could add a fun air of mystery to greet your guests, with them thinking “just what the heck does that mean?” It remains a really funny line and a great reminder to find the humor in less than ideal circumstances whenever possible. [By the way, the family member is recovered and doing much better now.]

dmc coloris 24 new variegated flossesThe variegated floss used in this Zesty cross stitch pattern is the gorgeous and rich DMC Coloris 4507 Bougainvillea, available in my shop along with the entire range of DMC and Anchor variegated flosses (DMC’s newest colors, the Coloris collection, are shown at right). I also offer a selection of beautiful ThreadworX variegated flosses as well.

Variegated flosses are beautiful and by their very nature, they make every piece that uses them unique. No two people will ever use the exact same length of a floss in the same way, thus every project will have a different result! This makes creating with them an exercise in curiosity and a fun adventure. See the my series of Variegated Floss Projects to see a wide variety of projects that would look great in these color combinations!

Pop my Cork Cross Stitch Pattern

This “Big Spender” Pop my Cork cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!big spender I don't pop my cork cross stitch pattern shirley basseyShirley Bassey Big Spender German single coverThis suggestive project is a lyric from the song “Big Spender.” The song was written for the 1966 Broadway musical Sweet Charity. It was a big hit for Shirley Bassey in 1967 and it continues to be one of her signature songs. Although the song is hardly a feminist rallying cry, I’ve always liked the line “I don’t pop my cork for every man I see” as a great “nasty woman” sentiment.

For those of you unfamiliar with Shirley Bassey, you are probably familiar with her voice. Aside from “Big Spender,” in the States she is probably best known for the James Bond theme songs “Goldfinger,” “Diamonds Are Forever,” and “Moonraker.”

From her very humble beginnings in Tiger Bay, Cardiff, Wales, Shirley Bassey’s career has spanned well over 60 years. In January 1959, she was the first Welsh person to gain a U.K. Number 1 single, and in the ensuing years her career was so remarkable that she was made a Dame for her “services to the performing arts.”

If I were a single person, I could easily see this Pop my Cork cross stitch pattern displayed in my house as a subtle challenge to potential suitors. I consider it’s essence to be “if you don’t treat me well, don’t expect much in return” which is a good philosophy for everyone!

Deeds Not Words Cross Stitch Pattern

This Deeds Not Words cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!deeds not words cross stitch pattern suffragette bannerThis was one of the mottoes of the women’s suffrage movement, as seen on the massive banner in this photo:deeds not words cross stitch example suffragette banner

Although the image is black and white, I imagine that the banner was in the purple, white, and green colors of the British suffrage movement. The three colors symbolized loyalty, purity, and hope.

Women worked so hard for the right to vote. They were jailed, went on hunger strikes, and even died for the suffrage rights women hold today. This right is something no woman should take for granted. I was encouraged recently to see women in the House of Representatives and Senate wearing white in honor of the suffragettes (in other photos and articles you’ll see some women wore purple as well).deeds not words cross stitch democratic women wearing whiteWhile “Deeds not Words” was a rallying cry for the more militaristic suffragists, I am by no means advocating violence. Instead, I hope this pattern will inspire us to demand action from ourselves, others, and our elected officials. Anyone can talk about “what needs to happen” while it’s a precious few who actually take steps to create positive change. I hope this Deeds Not Words project may serve as a reminder to do just that.

Bill Hicks Cross Stitch Pattern “Life is Only a Dream…”

This Bill Hicks cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!bill hicks cross stitch life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves

Bill Hicks was a comedian who died in 1994 of pancreatic cancer. You might not expect such a metaphysical quote from a comedian… only if you’re not familiar with Bill Hicks’ work. He was controversial, biting, and certainly not for those with delicate ears. At the same time, he was often spiritual, philosophical, and personal.

This project is only a part of a longer quotation of Hicks. Although he stopped using drugs in 1988, he still espoused their use, saying ““I’ve had some killer times on drugs.” He railed against the war on drugs and on the media focusing only on negative stories about drugs. Hicks instead hop[ed] for a different perspective:

[As if giving a news cast] “Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration—that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”

anchor 1345 variegated flossOn a more superficial note, I filled the stars in border with seven different variegated flosses. The one I had really been wanting to try is Anchor 1345, called “Blue Hawaii,” and it didn’t disappoint. In fact, it’s gorgeous and you can see it in the star in the upper left corner of the pattern.

I stitched some of the stars filling in a serpentine way and some in a spiral way, and it was interesting to see how differently the colors pooled. For example, all three were the same color, Anchor 1345, but the star in the upper left corner was stitched serpentine in horizontal rows, while the fourth one below it and the first one from top right were stitched in a spiral.

This Bill Hicks cross stitch pattern is perfect for everyone who appreciates counter-culture ideas, alternative spiritual philosophies, variegated embroidery floss, and of course, Bill Hicks.

If you’re interested in seeing some of his work, below is a clip from The Late Show with David Letterman. At the taping in 1993, Letterman and CBS decided that his material was too controversial and his performance was not aired. However, in 2009, Bill’s mother was a guest on Letterman and they aired his set in it’s entirety. [Warning: this is not for the easily offended]

Think for Yourself and Question Authority Cross Stitch Pattern

My Think for Yourself and Question Authority cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!think for yourself and question authority cross stitch pattern

The inspiration for the pattern comes from a famous quote from Dr. Timothy Leary. He was a psychiatrist who advocated the use of LSD for therapeutic uses, and he was a counter culture icon from the 1960’s until his death in 1996. In fact, Richard Nixon considered Leary one of the most dangerous men in America. In the 60’s he popularized the phrases “turn on, tune in, drop out” and “think for yourself and question authority”.

The pattern features a mirrored pair of fun 1960’s pop art style flowers that I intended to bring a little color and flair in juxtaposition to the more serious nature of the quote. Pop art started in the 1950’s, bloomed in the 1960’s, and the style of these flowers could easily be seen in the works of artists such as Peter Max and the animation team behind the Beatles‘ movie Yellow Submarine.

Of course, I don’t advocate that we all drop acid and form our own psychedelic religions while skipping in and out of jail. However, the idea that we read, research, and think for ourselves and question all kinds of authority (political, religious, economic, et al.) is certainly valid. And if the political culture of 2016 is any indication, it appears that a little 1960’s-style peaceful counterculture would be a welcome change.

Let this think for yourself and question authority cross stitch pattern be a good reminder to have some healthy skepticism of authority.

MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch pattern

The inspiration comes from the the classic Episode 321 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The lyrics are from Crow’s song “A Patrick Swayze Christmas,” performed by Joel and the ‘bots during one of the host segments. It was inspired by Crow’s favorite movie, Road House, starring Patrick Swayze. With it’s references to barstools, action sequences, and Santa drafting his will, it’s a modern holiday tradition!

In 2013 Reddit and Joel worked with acapella group The Lost Keys to create this version of the song:

Joel’s reaction at end of the video is a funny reference to another outstanding MST3K episode, Pod People.

mst3k patrick swayze christmas cross stitch patternThe cross stitch captures their usual silhouettes, plus with Crow’s red nose, Joel’s ivory scarf, and Tom’s blue and white snow globe noggin from the sketch. It also has the draped gold garland and the Christmas tree from the set, and I added a colorful string of lights around the border. This project was a lot of fun to put together!

 

I know that for many MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000), including myself, the holiday season is not quite complete without a viewing of this hilarious episode.

mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch patternI have two other MST3K themed patterns available. One is the “Turn down your lights…” pattern you see at right. This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. It’s a welcome and happy sight to the fans of the show.

 

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThe other pattern is this “The answer my friend, is blow it…” which is a funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.

 

 

 

 

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

This MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies past, present, and future.

Keep circulating the tapes!

MST3K Turn Down Your Lights Cross Stitch Pattern

This MST3K Turn down your lights cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k turn down your lights cross stitch pattern

This image unfurled at the beginning of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from Episodes 201 – Rocketship XM to 404 – Teenagers from Outer Space. This span includes three of my personal favorite episodes: Cave Dwellers, Pod People, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. “Turn down your lights (Where applicable)” is a welcome and happy sight to fans of the show.

If you’re not familiar with Mystery Science Theater 3000, it is a classic comedy show that originally ran from 1988 to 1999. It cleverly skewered terrible movies with it’s characters making funny comments during the movies and performing sketches during the intermissions.

It won a Peabody Award in 1993 and was nominated for several Emmy Awards. To this day it remains popular and maintains a large cult-like following. It is so popular, in fact, a MST3K revival recently became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. The casting for the new episodes includes Jonah Ray as the host, with Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day as the new “mads.” I just can’t wait to see how the series continues!

mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your assThis is my second MST3K themed project, the first being this funny quote from Episode 614 – San Francisco International.  It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

This MST3K Turn Down Your Lights cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) present, past, and future (and for everyone who has a lot of dimmer switches).

Keep circulating the tapes!

Willy Wonka Cross Stitch Pattern

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to do

This pattern features one of the famous quotes from Gene Wilder’s character in the 1971 version of the movie. As the visitors to the factory have just walked in the door and are removing their coats, Willy says: “So much time and so little to see. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”

Only after I stitched the photographed example did I realize that I got the quote slightly incorrect! In my mind and on IMDB.com the line is “…so little to do,” whereas the line in the movie is clearly “…so little to see.” Nevertheless, this project will appeal to fans of the movie and to busy people everywhere (and who of us isn’t busy?).

photo of gene wilder as willy wonkaThe border of this pattern is a homage to the floral fabric in Willy Wonka’s waistcoat. With it’s purple, pink and white flowers on a background of black and light purple, it’s an enduing part of Willy’s ensemble.

 

 

 

 

 

On Spoonflower, there are two separate versions of this fabric, as well as two different “Golden Ticket” fabrics, a reproduction of the “lickable wallpaper” fruit pattern, and a rather unusual fabric of Willy with the Oompa Loompas.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, it’s based on the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. At it’s release in 1971 it received good reviews and fared decently at the box office. Since its release for television and home video, it has become a cult classic with quite a few devoted fans.

Dahl didn’t like this version of the movie, saying it strayed too far from his original book. One can understand his concerns, considering the change of emphasis from Charlie to Willy, the introduction of Slugworth as an enemy, and the inclusion of seemingly random literary quotes from various authors. I’ve also heard that the lyrics of the Oompa Loompa’s songs were completely different than what they sang in this this first version.

willy wonka cross stitch pattern so much time and so little to doDahl’s family was much happier with the Tim Burton-directed version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring Johnny Depp from 2005. Although they are much different movies, I happen to like them both. Ah, but when it comes to quotable lines, the 1971 version certainly takes the (chocolate) cake.

 

This Willy Wonka cross stitch pattern is perfect for all fans of the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and for all of us with hectic schedules.

Statistics Cross Stitch Pattern

This statistics cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!statistics cross stitch pattern - statistically speaking most people are assholes

The quote for this statistics cross stitch pattern comes from an episode of The Nightly Show on Comedy Central. During one of their #Keepit100 segments, host Larry Wilmore asked the panel (and I’m paraphrasing) if your dog and a stranger were drowning, who would you save, the person or your dog? Rory Albanese replied “If it’s an adult, I save my dog every time because statistically speaking, most people are assholes.” Here’s the clip (you can skip ahead to 1:34):

Keep in mind, I don’t subscribe to this theory most of the time… but there are those moments. As soon as I heard this quote, I scribbled it down and knew I would stitch it someday.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, The Nightly Show is hosted by Larry Wilmore, who did frequent segments on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The show debuted in January 2015 and can be seen just after The Daily Show. Although the show might have started off a little awkwardly, I think Larry and his staff have really hit their stride in recent months. The show packs a lot of laughs, fresh, diverse viewpoints, and some great [bleeped-out] cursing. That Larry is a self-described “blerd” (black nerd) appeals to me as well.

statistics cross stitch pattern - statistically speaking most people are assholesThis pattern is packed with mathematical and statistical symbols for various constants and functions. The first “t” is tau, which is a symbol used to represent Kendall’s rank correlation coefficient. The first “a” is alpha, which represents the level of significance, also know as the type I error rate. The second “t” is an addition (plus) sign.

The “S” in “speaking” is an integral sign from calculus, the “E” is a capital sigma that represents a sum, and the symbol for “n” represents an intersection. The “y” and the “G” are both related to Goodman and Kruskal’s gamma. The border pattern is comprised of lower case sigmas which represent the all-important statistic of standard deviation.

It was necessary to take a few liberties with subscripts that complete the pattern and add a little visual interest – but the t sub i very easily could represent interior temperature in engineering applications.

This statistics cross stitch project is perfect for statisticians, scientists, mathematicians, engineers, and smart people. It’s also great for curmudgeons and your favorite anti-social grumps!

MST3K Cross Stitch Pattern “Blow it…”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is now available in my Etsy shop!mst3k cross stitch pattern the answer my friend is blow it out your ass

 

The project is a funny quote from Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 614 – San Francisco International. It’s a terrible movie, cleverly skewered by Mike and the ‘bots. It was written as the pilot episode of a series that lasted six episodes. The TV movie appeared in 1970 and featured Clu Gallagher, Tab Hunter, Van Johnson, and David Hartman. When it went to series, Lloyd Bridges played the airport security chief, a role he spoofed later in the movie Airplane!

Most of the plot revolves around an elaborate attempt to steal a large shipment of currency that looks surprisingly similar to boxes of Rush albums. One subplot involves a young boy, Davey, who manages to steal a small airplane and get airborne with no flying experience whatsoever. “You know, people are gonna hate you for quite a while after this, Davey.”

While the Urkel-themed host segments haven’t aged well (in fact, you will probably want to skip them altogether), the quote “The answer, my friend, is blow it out your ass” is a classic riff! You can see the entire episode on YouTube…

I used two DMC Variegated Flosses in this project: 4220 Lavender Fields in the lettering, and 4020 Tropical Waters as part of the border. I generally use brighter colors in my projects, but I wanted to make this look a little softer, a little breezy, a little like the Joan Baez version of “Blowing in the Wind.”

This MST3K cross stitch pattern is perfect for all MSTies (fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000) and for everyone who appreciates a funny and rude cross stitch project.

For those of you who have read this far and don’t have a clue as to what MST3K is, read this Wikipedia article. A MST3K revival just became the biggest Film and Video category Kickstarter project of all time, raising $6.3 Million for 14 new episodes in 2016. Can’t wait…

Keep circulating the tapes!